5.07.2014

Maybe I will figure it out tomorrow

This morning I woke up to a text message that said: Hey. It's been a month since my last Bud blog update, what's the deal? You've gotta keep us in the loop lady! 

Sure enough I had a hard time believing that it had been a month since I shared my love for lattes with the world, Mike is probably right...it is time for an update. 

Riding solo for now
Image: Brian Vernor

For those of you who are Facebook users, you know how you log on and you are flooded with updates on what everyone else is doing? Avery is having a baby, Lily just got married, Brandon moved to Alaska to be with the girl of his dreams, etc. Well, I would hate to be the bearer of bad news BUT I took a sharp turn in my life and decided to go rogue - there will be no wedding bells, baby announcements or lovely dove crap for a few more years. 
I ended a three year long relationship, I have become the ultimate couch surfer, I am only eating vegetables, have dedicated every waking hour to my bike...or work. Sounds like the pits, right? WRONG. This is the most free and revitalized I have felt in a long time. I wake up every day so much more lively. The moment I touch my bike, every single problem floats away - I am completely free. I am excited about the opportunities that will come from this - they are endless. 

So, with every ending there is always something crappy - so what is it? Find a place to live. I feel like this is always the dilemma that I am in. Bud's lease is up, where should she go? Bud doesn't have a place to live - is she going to leave? Yes, that has actually crossed my mind. I am in the process of trying to get rid of as much stuff as I can so I can essentially live the vagabond dream - being able to pack everything into sweet Ingrid and jet to where ever the hell I want to. Have no fear - I am not going totally astray and quitting my job just yet..I need some sense of stability, plus, it's bikini season...my favorite time of the year! With one door closed, it only means one thing...time to open the next - I believe this one has ADVENTURE written all over it. 

Moving at different speeds...
Spence and I had a great run - essentially what it came down to was we were just going at two different paces. He needed to put 100% of his efforts into medical school, and well, I wanted to pour my heart into cycling, my family, friends and my career. He needed less distraction, I needed someone to pay more attention or none at all. I am so excited to see where Spence ends up in a few years - I have no doubt in my mind that he will be an extremely successful surgeon. The passion he possesses for medicine is extraordinary, his devotion towards the practice is something people typically only dream of. So, you do you.

A few weeks ago, I was visiting my dad. I was extremely nervous to tell him about my decision - so after being home for about 5 minutes spencer and I broke up came exploding out of my mouth like word vomit (like most things I am nervous about). His reaction was comforting - but - then the idea of living for the day, and only looking forward made me calm even more ::: stop thinking about the past, we can't do anything about it. People have been asking me where I am going to go, and what I am going to do? You know, right now I don't know and I am fine with that - maybe I will figure it out tomorrow. 

Sending Love from SoCal. 

Xx



2 comments:

  1. This post is seriously hitting home.... Love ya!

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    Replies
    1. Aw, Kayla Love you - hope you're doing well!

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