4.27.2010

My first kiss

I have be doing a lot of reflecting the last couple days, and a lot of funny stories have popped into my head...so I figure I should share them with ya'll....


I must have been 13 years old, maybe older...I could have been younger too..who knows. I had not yet transitioned into public school I was still in private school up in Aspen. I still dressed like a tom boy, wouldn't go anywhere with out that damn Lange skiboot hat, or my navy blue northface down jacket that I lived in ( I remember right after I got that jacket I was baking cookies and I reached inside the oven to pull the cookies out and managed to melt a little part of the sleeve. I was devastated.Of course, my mom came to the rescue like always and soon my jacket was all fixed up with a few stitches). I was starting to become familiar with the kids that were my age in Basalt, and of course I was busy spotting out the "dreamy" 7th grade older boys. Robbie Parker -- Ohhh I sure did have the biggest crush on him. His mom was a teacher or something, he was tall for his age I think... and he was on the football team. He had bleached tipped hair and braces! What a stud! I would aimlessly drift off into day dreams about him while sitting in Margaretta Bruger's English class -- my day dreaming would soon be interrupted with her telling me I needed to pay attention....ohhh boy I didn't like her at the time!  Robbie hung out with all the popular girls. I was not one of the those girls. I didn't have boobs, nor did I have any intentions of being a cheerleader.
I recall being at a memorial event late one summer. That is when I met Severen. He was a short, pudgy faced boy in the same grade as Robbie. We became friends. Severen's mom worked with my little sister, he lived just down the block from the public swimming pool and in the same neighborhood as my friends Sami and Mady. I passed his house all the time. I told him I had a crush on Robbie; he took it into his own hands to make sure that Robbie knew in the most polite way possible. That night of the memorial, I wrote Robbie a letter on a napkin and gave it to Severen, who assured me that Robbie would get it. They were friends -- or at least being a naive little girl I thought they were. Soon, I got a letter back from Robbie, through Severen. He was our messenger, later I would learn that my relationship with Robbie only existed through the imagination of what Severen could think up and write down on a scrap of white computer paper. We would write letters back and forth. I remember Severen telling me that Robbie loved all my letters and was always happy to get them. I kissed one of them with lipstick on time. I had never actually talked to Robbie -- just seen him around hanging with the cool group. One day, Severen told me he was moving to Florida (or somewhere like that...) I was so upset because how on earth was Robbie going to get my letters? Then I found out....
News that will break any like 13 year olds heart; Robbie never was given any of my letters, and the ones I was getting back were mischievously created by Severen. Little dirt bag! But, I must give Severen the credit for being so creative and playing with my little heart for such a long time. Robbie Parker didn't even know who I was. Severen eventually came clean and spilled the news that he was the one keeping the letters and creating the ones back to me. I was pissed. I remember seeing him and glaring at him as hard as a 13 year old come. My first experience of love was busted -- it was only a dream in my head.
My seventh grade year of middle school I had made the move to Basalt. It was weird; I wasn't used to not having all the one-on-one teacher attention, or getting detentions (yes, truth be told I did actually get a detention or two. Stupid strict rules -- messing up my glory of being in middle school and having my own locker with my own pad lock which I had never had before, it was an upgrade from my cubby at ACDS. But at least I didn't have to worry about my cubby getting broken into like my locker was one day). I wasn't accustom to not knowing EVERYONE in my grade, as well as their parents and siblings names and where they lived. I wasn't used to not being able to call my mo and say I wanted to go to so and so's house and because she knew the knew the family it wasn't a problem -- now we didn't know anyone so I no longer had the freedom of doing that.  I was not a fan of the public school system...call me spoiled...whatever. Severen and Robbie were in the 8th grade class that we all idolized because they were older. They all had lockers on the main hall, not a stupid smelly pod like the 7th graders did. I am pretty sure I avoided Severen for as long as I could. Somewhere in my pictures I have a photo of him at a school dance. I always hated school dances -- I never slow danced. I would sit with all the other unpopular girls. I got a yearbook that year, I immediately drew a big red "X" through Severen's picture, yah!! What now!?! Gosh, I was so rebellious. There are little notes about all the people that I managed to meet or idolize all over that purple yearbook. I never saw Severen again after school was let out that year. Nor, did I really see Robbie until I got up to the high school across the highway. I was only there for about a month before I moved back to a prep school setting. By that time he had gotten chubby and was hanging out with weird people. Thank goodness I got that out of my system! ha! I was had now become the girly athlete on the volleyball team and was getting the attention from the older boys that I finally wanted when I was younger. That year I had my first kiss, from a slender Brazilian boy named Hugo -- of course my bestfriends had to coach me through what I to do, of course this was all information that one of their older sisters had told them. After he left my house my bestfriends and I all squeezed into my bed and I shared my first kiss story with them -- we were so giddy. From that day on we made a pact to share all our high school experiences with each other. Once I moved the next month that stopped. For the next couple weeks I had all eyes on me because of my tall first boyfriend. For once the popular girls were jealous of me. Robbie had dropped out of my universe completely. I am glad Robbie never got my love notes. Now, I look at those popular girls and they are no one. Oh, young love.

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