A night like no other.

So normally Thursday I have a very mundane routine. Wake up at 8:30, wine about having to be up so early, Chris returns me to my house and he goes to school. I secretly go back to sleep for an hour while my roommate gets ready for work and then eventually I find the strength to get out of bed and eat some breakfast, normally I sit in bed and do homework until about 5 pm and then I go to an engagement that I have been attending since mid-July in the evenings. Tonight was my last night, it some matter I was sad, because I was learning so much, but in other I was so happy because I didn't have to listen to some meaningless jibberjabber anymore.
Freedom is a funny feeling. I rode my cruiser to the building that I find myself pacing back and forth in front of before 6 pm at night. I called my mom to check in, tell her I love her and then go on in. I sat threw the seminar and left at the appropriate time. I walked to my bike and unlocked it. It was cold out tonight, cars filled the parking lot, but not mine. The smell of exhaust was floating in the air, and people pipes lit up with a grey cloud as their cars fought to warm up, to make it comfortable for the person inside the vehicle. I did not have a car there to wait and have warm up, there I was wrapped up in a hoodie and a windbreaker, socks and shoes, mittens and a hat. It is funny to think that 2 months ago I was able to do this ride back to the house in shorts and a tank and be just fine. The moon was covered in clouds, darkness filled the sky. I headed towards the bike path only guessing where it might possibly be since I do not have a light for my bike. The familiar ground beneath my Nikes confirmed that I was on it, as well as the hill that was to large for me to pedal up. What if a bear came out? What would I do? Do I throw my bike lock at it? Maybe I should have pepper spray with me? Sporadically cars came up behind me shinning their lights and giving me a feeling of where I was and what laid ahead. I appreciated those cars that came up from behind me, because they helped me find my way and get over those obstacles that we often come upon. For the cars that came towards me I despise, their headlights blind me and only make me become more hesitant with my travels. The cool air bites my fat little cheeks that I try to bury into the neck of my teal jacket. I can feel the air finding its way through my knit hat and oh-so-gently nipping at my ears. I bet they are red right now. My nose was running, winter is here. This ride was like no other. I do this pedal all the time, I know all the turns and stops with my eyes closed. I guess riding in the dark was essentially like riding with my eyes closed. As I reached the down hill I relaxed, I let the bike do the rest of the work, I took in a deep breath of the cold air. It made me relax, I am imagining this might be the feelings a smoker gets when they take a drag of a cigarette: calmness. This is my season. I am more comfortable wrapped up and being nipped at by the cold weather than sweating and waiting to get inside the air conditioned house. You could smell the dinners that families had prepared through the cold standstill air, Italian seemed to be on the menu for most houses. The lights lit the houses that stood lined up like little solders waiting for their orders. You could peer into the windows and see people randomly walking about, cleaning. The occasional television was on and would fill a room with a blue light. Little kids were getting ready for bed, while others stay put around the kitchen table enjoying food and reminiscing about old times or sharing their days. Chimneys puff smoke into the air giving the crisp air that is biting me a smokey flavor, the scent that sticks to your hair and clothes and never goes away. The smoke leaves a haze floating on the ground which makes you feel almost like you are entering a land of mystery. I get home and open unlock the door. The fire place is roaring, heat rushes out like it is running away from something scary inside. I flip on the light switch and I know this is what a free life feels like. This is how I am supposed to live.

H1N1 in the house

So, Chris's roommate has swine flu. She claims that she is not contagious anymore, so who knows. I was interested on the drugs which that have been using and many doctors have been administering antibiotics to people that are ill. Many don't know that antibiotics do not cure the virus, but it only kills the bacteria. So basically, someone can be on antibiotics, but they are not cured of the illness. Doctors are also using antiviral right now, and this actually has the potential to kill the virus, cutting down on the spreading to others it could do. Essentially this is what the swine flu shot is, but of course many places are running out of this shot and H1N1 is becoming a national emergency. Therefore, others can still get sick. Actually my good friends Linds brought this to my attention the other day. Since it is fall I am worried about getting the flu, at the most a cold. I have been trying to stay on top of my game and trying to be healthy. Chris and I lysoled the entire house yesterday, and I used febreeze at my house today to try and kill any bacteria that may be hanging out on the remotes, the couches, the handles of appliances, etc. Of course because we were looking out for our own health this angered his roommate. Ha! I was bummed in the first place that she didn't tell us that she has a cold, I know that that is the first thing that I do when I am not feeling top notch is a tell (basically warn) those who I live with so they can take the right precautions to staying healthy. The next battle I have been dealing with and constantly trying to remind myself is to wash my hands and not to touch my face. It has been pretty easy, I carry around some hand sanitizer with me while I am at school. Actually a lot of people that I have talked to about getting sick they say school is the # 1 place they are worried about. Think of how many different germs are going around there! Woooah! Lastly, on top of Chris's roommate being ill, both of mine have colds. That is the one downer about having roommates, because a cold or an illness can spread easily to other people rather than just keeping it in house. I was afraid that Chris was going to get the swine, give it to me and then I would give it to my roommates who would give it to their girlfriends and so on, luckily (knock on wood) none of this has happened yet!
So don't be afraid to whip out those clorox whip and spray your house with disinfectant. Wash your hands with soap! Don't touch your face! If you are feeling a little sick pound the orange juice, elderberry (always works great for me! You can get it in a tincture at your local health food store and take 30ish drops a few times a day), rest, soup! Don't drink as much because it takes away from the well being and functioning of your body! And for all my girls that are dressing up for halloween, but be afraid to put on some extra clothing so that you stay warm...'cause if you get cold...I bet you will end up with a cold! So there! Be nice to your body; respect it, it is your temple!

This was actually the posting that I read (that made the most sense to me) about the antibiotics: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_antibiotics_not_work_on_swine_flu

A wonderful letter.

We are in a transition. To windy and cold to go biking, no snow to go skiing. It is what I like to call mud season, some call it off season, others call it shoulder season but really when it comes down to it there is not to much going on. It is the time of the year when everyone is trying to clear out their garages of old ski/snowboard gear, and pack away the summer fun toys. A time when you try to figure out your gear for the up coming season, and see if your friends and you can trade anything with each other. The leaves have changed color, and there is always a slight nip at your face and hands when you go out side. The heat is not necessary to turn on yet, but it is turned up a little bit. Germs are crawling around, along with crummy attitudes. The time of the year were no one has anything else better to do than be hyper corrective about others and think they aren't.
Well as many of you know I am dealing with a gear ordeal right now, let me clarify...a hard goods ordeal...that was until the other day when Ed Chase sent out an incredibly nice letter to a company to help me get some of the needed gear for ski season. I have read over this letter several times now and it just puts a smile on my face. I am so happy that I have someone that was willing to do such a nice deed for me without without really even asking. We need more people like this; people that are not afraid to go to bat for another person and less or those people who BAT at people without knowing the entire story.
Below is the letter, I thought that everyone should have a peek so you understand why this means so much to me. Chris said last night 'wow, I wish some one would right me a letter like that', I am very thankful for this simple e-mail. Thank you Ed!
I hope that this inspires everyone to go out and help someone else that needs help. Give them a hand, put them in front of you. Mud season is a season when we love to throw judgements around, everyone is at a low. So just be nice and help them out. Remember, Karma will come back and get you if need be.
I'm making an appeal for a pair of bindings for Betsy's daughter,
Elizabeth. She is in her final year at University of Nevada, Reno,
and as Greg knows, is a skier I've supported for many years now.

Elizabeth is, in addition to her skiing skills, a nationally ranked
mountain biker who's competed in 4 NORBA national championships and
was the winner of her category in 2005. She lives in the Tahoe area
and through her biking and skiing is quite well known, skiing at
Squaw, Northstar, and Boreal. She is also sponsored (product and
gear) by Red Bull for her biking--no mean feat in any sport.

To her skiing: Elizabeth was a prominent junior racer in RMD with
the Aspen Ski Club and later with Crested Butte Academy. She turned
to big mountain based on her time in the Crested Butte extreme
terrain, and added park and pipe to her repertoire when she got to
Tahoe. Kate Stahler knew Elizabeth as a kid racer in Aspen and used
her as a model for the last two seasons, as well as using her in the
booth in Las Vegas the past two years. Nordica picked her up for
skis and boots last year as a result of Andy Hare meeting her on the
first modeling project, although that has not apparently been
continued. She is an incredible supporter of any of the people and
companies who've supported her.

Four seasons ago I got her connected with Alan Trimble, the Mahres'
old Lange rep and present Armada designer, and Elizabeth has risen
to become his number one women's ski tester based on consistent
feedback, enthusiasm, and prompt professional responses to test
product. She has most recently become one of the head travel
coaches for the Northstar free ski team, meaning she and her kids
and Armadas will be attending events all around California and
Nevada, at least.

I have been funding bindings for Elizabeth for some time. I'd like
to get her one pair of Griffons for the new skis Alan plans to send
her. She'll also be using a pair of Jesters and a pair of Griffons
I got for her through Bill Bird and Greg in the past. She is a
"Marker only" skier in any event.

Any help would obviously be greatly appreciated!

Many thanks and best to you both. I hope all is well and business
continues to get better.

So a big thanks to everyone that has helped me out of the last couple years. I am beyond thankful. If I can ever return the favor, please do not hesitate to ask. Without all the support that I get there is no way that I would be able to pursue the sports that I love the most.


shake it like a polaroid picture


I have this obsession of an idea right now. I really want to get a lomo camera, or a classic polaroid camera. Of course a polaroids are hard to get your hands on now a days, unless you are lucky enough to come across one in a thrift store (good news! Polaroid is actually going to start reproducing these awesomely fun picture takers!). I have a bunch of photos from a few years ago from when my old roommate Chelsey and I went down to Santa Cruz for the weekend; we brought down her Polaroid and snapped away. The pictures are awesome, the natural effects of the development. Hard to actually explain unless you know what I am talking about. I am trying to find a way to scan them on to my comp so that I will be able to treasure then digitally. Lomography is another type of outrageous film camera too that I would just LOVE to get my hands on. Lomo cameras were invented by a man in Russian back in the 60s, now they are just becoming a hot commodity. I want to be able to travel around and take amazing photos that are skewed in some forms. I remember last year when I was at a photo shoot with the amazing Alexa Miller that she was talking about the endless possibilities of old film; the ideas she was sharing were amazing and stuff I would never thinking of. I have been browsing a lot of photography blog sites now looking for different photo techniques and all that jazz, but most of it has to do with digital work...that is not what I want to do.... granted I do intend on having them on my computer..ha! But none of that photo shop stuff! Plus, lomo's have all sorts of crazy fun accessories. I have my eye set on the Diana F+ with a flash or the Lomo LC A+. I remember when I first saw a Lomo, I think it was either on Fredflare.com or on Urban Outfitters (suprise...my 2 favorite websites! ha!) but I was interested the moment that I saw them. Of course when I actually did have money buying one never crossed my mind, since I will potentially be traveling a lot from here on out why not spend some scrilla on one when I have it?!



It seems like this time of the year I always get easily irritated until about the end of the semester. I was hoping that this year I wouldn't just because I am a year of transition and it is supposed to be happy, I am supposed to be figuring out who I am and preparing myself for the next step in time. Of course every little thing is suffocating me right now. Just to get is off my chest here we go:
*My black couch covered in dog hair.
*My water bottles missing.
*My biology class (this week I have had lab and I have an exam. I am doing horrible in this class. I have managed to get 90% and above on all my journals, labs and extra credit points like crazy...but because the stinkin' teacher uses our test grades for so much towards our grade it is bringing me down in the the depths of letter grades I seldom see)
*My soc teacher politely saying that I cant write (Nooo I can, I am just not interested in her silly topics about feminist theory)
*The fact that I am not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas
*I have NO food in my fridge, nor can I afford to buy any.
*If you go to school you can't apply for un employment in California
*My transportation situation. UGHHHH!
*My bank account
*People not following through with plans
* I am convinced that all my teachers got together and decided that they needed to assign as much homework as possible over the next month of my life
*I owe my roommates money. And I can't afford to make a Halloween costume
*I am really irritated because I don't know where the hell I am going to be this time next year
*Our washer and dryer is broken.
*I can't get a boreal pass
*I don't have a squaw pass
*none of the lectures for my bio class make any sense.
*I can't delete my stupid myspace account
*I have to wait 25 days to start working. (hopefully sooner, depending on how cold the weather is able to stay)
*That I ripped my diesel jeans
*The boys can't put away the dishes
*Our garage door doesn't work
*Syd's breaks are toast (again...), how? I don't have a clue
*Syd has a giant crack in her windshield
*The critter that lives in my wall
*people not knowing when to keep their mouths shut
*irritated that I want sushi
*finger prints on my mirror and we don't have any windex
*My roommates don't know how to clean
*That it is freezing only in my bedroom
*I am really irritated by the law
*I am never thought I would say this but I am not irritated by my little sister for once, but I am jealous instead
*my bike. UGH! the one thing that is supposed to keep my sane can't even stay in one piece.
*that I got left in the dark with everything for skiing except for skis
*that I DON'T have cell service at my house
*We don't have TV. Sometimes you just need to give your brain a rest
*that all of Lady Gaga's new album is not on iTunes yet (silly I know)
*I have 199 days until graduation, I wish I had a fast forward button
*no one has bought any of my old ski stuff yet.

Okay, deep breath.

Amen, seeeester.

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

-Marilyn Monroe-

I am trying to come up with halloween costumes right now, ugh it is hard. I have had such amazing ones in the past........I guess we will just have to see how creative I can get in a few days


Ansel iPhone on a bike

Chris and I sure did keep busy this weekend. After a full week of school college kids want nothing more than to have a low key weekend, have fun with friends and in our case enjoy fall to its fullest. We did just that.
Let me explain before you peek through the pictures. Friday started off with us scrambling to class, getting there fashionably late and leaving early. Chris had a team meeting with Porter's Tahoe (one of his many sponsors for snowboarding) and I sat at home pretending to do homework, while I was really preoccupied with facebooking and reading perez hilton while watching the food network. At 2 o'clock I had a meeting up at Northstar with the direct of the Ski and snowboard team about coaching for the free ski team this year. I was wicked nervous, and am in huge need of a job right now, so I was really going in there with my fingers crossed. The meeting went swell. I will be coaching for them this year, actually it went more than swell...I will be one of the head traveling coaches this year if all goes right! This means that I will have the fabulous opportunity to travel around with a small group of very talented free ride athletes from Northstar. I will have meals, lodging, tickets all paid for on top of being paid to coach. This is a dream job for meet at my stage of life! I am tickled right now. I will be working a lot, but how can I complain? I will be skiing everyday! I am so lucky! After my meet was over Chris and I raced back to my house and grabbed all my mountain biking gear and headed back to Northstar. We rode the cross country course that I raced last weekend (only one lap! : ) ) I had a blast, the dirt was AAAAWESOME! I was a little more gutsy this time around and rode the downhill section much more aggressively than normal. That night we went hot tubing and decided to give our bellies an amazing meal. We made "juicy Lucy" basically burgers with cheese in the inside instead of the outside! We were STUFFED but knew the show must go on! We headed down to one of the local bars (50/50, which holds a lot of snowboard/ski movie premiers and shin digs), Friday night was a 'save the melons' benefit that was sponsored by Burton. There was a ton of people there, Porters was giving out the deadly drink tickets, JP Lagos from the snowlife.com was there taking photo booth pictures and just already everyone was in high spirits. Saturday we took the time to sleep in and enjoy not having to wake up for any engagements, after rolling out of bed and relocating to the coach downstairs Chris made eggs and we planned on going for a bike ride with my dad. We met him at his house and got to peek at what they have done to the place, it looks awesome. I was in awe when I saw the fireplace that was made out of a lift tower! So cool! My dad and Barb have done a terrific job in renovating the house with recycled goods. While Chris powered away on his bike to head up to the Donner pass bridge, my dad and I took two loops around the lake nice and easily. It was a great refreshing ride and a nice conversation. After riding we laid low and had some soup, I was jonsing for a Slurpee (out of all things, right?) we watched some TV and I got carried away looking up serial killers (only because it is about Halloween time...). Ice cream and a movie was on our minds only to be let down by Safeway's selection of flavors (we found an amazing flavor of Haagen-Daz (I know going against my Ben and Jerry's roots) that is called fleur de sel carmel ice cream) of course they were out, they were also out of the their yummy Safeway select poppers. Ugh, but we found other delicious piggy food that satisfied the unhealthy cravings. We headed to Red Box to rent a movie, and of course it was broken. Those darn things are so convenient .... when they actually work! ha! So we headed back to the house and ended up watching Crouching tiger hidden dragon, which I had not yet seen. It was pretty cool, I just couldn't help but giggle with all the funny effects they had; I finished the night with my staple move of falling asleep on the coach before the movie was over. Today (Sunday) we woke up fairly early. Chris had to met a person to sell his Thule box to. I was able to enjoy a cup of 7-11 coffee (which is only good during the fall/winter months...I am not sure why, but any other time it is the WORST coffee EVER!) After making it an hour + affair we were finally headed in our own directions. Then the day REALLY started, Chris and I headed back to his house to tackle his garage and get it ready to park a car in there. In the winters here you have to make sure that a majority of your driveways are clear so that the snow removal people can do their job, since he lives in a complex area there are always a lot of cars so it is important at least one house can have one car put inside to make it easier. We found stuff he didn't even know about. I could tell he was getting irritated every now and again because I was pulling the signature "Do you really need this" 'weellll, yah maybe....' "Okay, when was the last time you used it?", then the un needed item quickly found its way to the trash can. ha! The garage is amazingly clean now! I semi-tackled the inside of the house, I did a weak attempt of vacuuming, only to have Christopher walk into some chip crumbs which were freshly dropped...opps! I was hungry! ha! We jetted to Safeway and grabbed a california dreamin' sandwich and headed out to Squaw to meet a friend Diggles for an afternoon mountain bike ride. We rode what is called the Western States Trail, and the link. It was a pretty good climb, but me being the weirdo that I am, I really enjoyed the climb...ohhh but WAIT...less than a quarter mile into the ride I managed to BREAK my chain, bend my derailer hanger, and almost throw my stuff thru my Mavic rims YET again! Yep, luckily because Diggles is really good with bikes he was able to get it kind of running for the rest of the ride. This left me in a super low gear almost so I felt as if I were on my downhill bike again. It's okay, I was still able to power up hill and enjoy being out on a bike on such a lovely fall day. The downhill was really technical in some spots, but the lower section you could just hammer down! We had a great ride. I really would love to ride with Chris and Diggles more before the snow comes. After our ride Chris and I headed over to his parents house. We thought we were dropping some stuff off, but that quickly turned into helping eat the extra crumbs for the carmel popcorn balls Stephanie was making, being in charge of cookie cutting the dough for the Halloween cookies and having an amazingly delicious spaghetti dinner with cookie decorating to follow. It was a great time, I consumed more candy corn that is probably healthy, but when the bad is right in front of you it is hard to stop! Our cookies look really good and yummy. Every holiday Stephanie puts together these GREAT little baskets that are holiday according, and filled with treats! She is VERY creative when it comes to delivering the most delicious amounts of chocolate and pez's possible! I got some pictures from Sarah's Halloween party that was this weekend, she looked super pretty. I was hoping to talk to her and my mommy this weekend but we were all so busy that that didn't happen. Hopefully I will get the down low on how fabulous Cape Cod was tomorrow while I am sitting in the library avoiding homework!

Hope everyone else had as great of a fall weekend! Treasure these fall days!

You'll have to see the picture below to understand WHY I am trying to apologize to him
Because I got to hammer him in the face with a water melon!
The prop for the photobooth at "Save the Melons" was watermelons.
Getting excited for Save the Melons. It is national breast cancer month, so help donate a little to finding a better cure for something that hurts millions of women a year.
Diggles being my hero and fixing my bike that is always broken! This was the same as last year, broken chain, bent my hanger (luckily not ripping it off! Phewww!) and almost bending the $8 a piece spokes...yah, that would have been lovely again....NOT!
I am really excited that Chris has been so into going biking lately.
I LOVE THIS SPORT SO MUCH! It is really nice to just toss on my baggies and go pedal with friends it really makes me love the sport that I do even more.
Chris and I on Western States Trail up near Squaw.

Looking at Squaw from Western Sate trail. Very pretty!
It just so happens that there is a color change here! I could hardly believe it!
Checking out Donner Lake early Sunday morning.
Riding at Northstar with Chris on the Cross Country trail
(Right before I managed to get us lost for a few minutes)
I just thought this looked cool. It is what I keep all my jewelry in.

Short track photos

One of the girls on the team was nice enough to be there for support and take some pics the entire weekend. Marian actually was one of the main people who got me in to the idea of joining the UNR team. She and her boyfriend Cody have been extremely helpful this entire season to me.


Use your imagination

Fall is one of the prettiest seasons I think. I love the different colors. Several years ago I remember all the fantastic hikes that the ski team used to go on for dry land in Crested Butte and the yellow of the aspen trees was always magnificent! Out here in California you really don't see much of the colors, just a lot of pine trees shedding their needles and getting caught in everything. I know where ever my adventure brings me next year I want to be in a place that has a pretty fall season.
Ladybugs. How neat? It makes me want to go and click some photos. I actually was thinking about how much fun I used to have when I was taking a lot of black and white film photos and I think it might be time to dig out the old camera and start clicking again. I have had my eyes set on a lomo Diana + camera for days, with a few different lenses (only because it is cheap and looks like it could be fun...) and take some cool pictures. I still LOVE the 'fast food' picture that I took of the hummingbirds.
I was really intreged by the color in this picture. I think it was from a soccer game or something. Boy I would love to get my hands on some of that fabric! It is Myld season, Chris and I are loading up on different fabrics, and hunting around for different cool patterns. We are working on changing the design a little bit, but a local shop has agreed to carry them this winter. The next couple weekends (when I am not bike racing) it looks like I will have my hands full!
Rain smells good. Seldom do we take time to look at the smaller, more simple things in life because we are so busy trying to keep up with the day to day hustle, but just LOOK at how much is going on in this picture! Truly beautiful.


How cool?! A wooden bike!
I probably wouldn't want to be the one pedaling it, but it is a neat idea!

It is Nip/Tuck season again! Hooray! I love this show!



I have this horrible reoccuring day dream that I am going to fall down the stairs in the brainiac building (the library). Somedays I sit here at my table and watch people walk down the stairs waiting to see it happen, therefore I can be 100% prepared to the reaction I will get from the general public when it does actually happen. I have had this dream ever since I cam to school here. I hope I can make it 2o8 more days without falling down the stairs.

So I am constantly listening to music.... lately I have been all about remixes, so I am all about hathbanger. Lyrics can totally change your mood, like a snap of your fingers. Lyrics can express your emotions. I have a certain song that I listen to before each race I do, "Sunday Jen", by Slackstring, it has NOTHING to do with biking, but for some reason I can find my calmness when I listen to it. I am grounded and ready to pedal my heart out, every time I listen to it I get this feeling that shoots through my entire body.

Every time I get a new song I listen closely to the lyrics. Normally there is something that can stick with me. Below are a few of my favorites right now.

it took a while for you to find me/because i was hiding in the lime tree/above the city in the rain cloud-Trevor Hall "Lime Tree"

i'll wash you down with a simple sip of wine/and toast my glass to all my loved ones/to let them know that the stars well they still shine - Trevor Hall "Lime Tree"

See, you and me
Have a better time than most can dream
Have it better than the best
And so can pull on through
Whatever tears at us
Whatever holds us down
And if nothing can be done
We'll make the Best of What's Around - "the best of whats around" Dave Matthews Band (Friggin' love this song...reminds me of one of my bessssssst friends)

I wanna show you that my love is pure
Oh my baby see I ask for nothing more
I wanna show you that my love is for real
Oh pretty girl what gave you the right to steal
My heart, it's in your hands
Oh your beauty occupies all of my land
Well I am, yes sir, just a man in love- Trevor Hall "31 Flavors"

Wake up in the morning feelin' like P.Diddy/grab my glasses im out the door/ imma hit the city/ before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of jack/ because when I leave for the night I ain't coming back - Ke$ha "Tik Tok" (This makes me think of all mahhh girls)

Ill read to you here, save your eyes
Youll need them, your boat is at sea
Your anchor is up, youve been swept away
And the greatest of teachers wont hesitate
To leave you there, by yourself,
Chained to fate - "I alone" - Live

I’m set free and I’m ready to go
You can’t stop me and you already know
The best days of our lives have yet to come - "Night on Fire" - VHS or Beta

Love or fear, the fear last longer
But love is stronger, so I stay loyal to love with honor- "Kindness for weakness" dilated people

And I’m not talking bout woulda, shoulda, could I
And I’m not talking bout the things I shoulda did - "Make me believe" Angel Taylor

Suffocated by the pressure to perform
And the pressure to produce and the pressure to conform to the norms
Animated by the pressure to succeed
And the pressure to succumb and the pressure to believe in a cause
Predicated on the pressure to accept
And the pressure to explain and the pressure to perfect
What is inherently flawless, in all this
Recognize your right to push back…I already told you – I am not deterred by fear- "Push" common market

I believe that fate has brought us here/and we should be together babe/but we're not/I play if off but I'm dreaming of you - Ben Taylor "I try"

When it gets me depressed I find
That it's best with my chest high
As I stretch my lungs & express my love,
Hold my breath & forget my pride,
To reflect that the rest of our lives are a measure of time.
We may as well try to express some style.
I exhale my prayer.
(And) follow it with my eyes as it fills the air.
In the back of my mind I imagine that you can hear
As if you could still be near me. - Ben Taylor "Digest" (the most amazing voice EVER!)

Don't worry about tomorrow
I just want to stay
So we can make it through
Another beautiful
Another beautiful day
You and me baby
We're gonna make it through
Another beautiful day - "beautiful day" Donavon Frankenreiter

The postcard says wish you were here/ but rather I was there "The dirt whispered" Rise Against

One thousand mile away, there's nothing left to say/ But so much left that I don't know/ We never had a choice/this world is too much noise/ it take me under/it takes me under once again/ I don't hate you/I don't hate you no/ So tell me now if this ain't love then how do we get out?/ 'Cause I don't know/ That's when she said I don't hate you boy/I just want to save you while there's still something left to save - "Savior" Rise Against (BAMMM, said so well!)

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied - "Why don't you and I" Santana

It's been ten years runnin' and you still look stunnin'
One in a million, Diamond, you're beautiful with brilliance
Still it's not enough, even though we're inseparable
We need to take a break but that don't mean that I'll let you go
Tears become streams, we got the same dreams
What's with all the competition, Ma? We on the same team
Angel, sometimes I don't show it on the surface
But, your face is unreplacable, it's perfect, you're worth it
I'm not always there emotionally, even though you're close to me - "Put me on" Swollen Members

Just trust my lust/its like a high school crush/some times akward/much to offer - "Feel it" Swollen Members

time to get low, do the tootsie roll
thats how we do, do it hot - "Pop the Glock" - Uffie

I have no lid upon my head
But if I did
You could look inside and see whats on my mind - "Let you down lover" Dave Matthews

Satellite in my eyes
Like a diamond in the sky
How I wonder.
Satellite strung from the moon
And the world your balloon
Peeping tom for the mother station
Winters cold spring erases
And the calm away by the storm is chasing
Everything good needs replacing - "Satellite" DMB

Awwwwwww the list could go on for days!

I love music so much!


Collegiate Nationals Day # 2 - STXC

I am happy this weekend is over. I am exhausted right now. phhheeewwwwww. Now it is time to focus on the books and getting ready for the next couple races....it never ends! ha!
So, yesterday (Saturday) was short track. This was only my second time ever racing (much less riding) this discipline so I was a little nervous; short track is comprised of a quarter mile loop, you ride it as many times as you can in 30 minutes, basically you have to be on your game and very strategic about your riding and ready to go for it, you are pushing your body to the limit and only have several seconds to normally recover before you are pounding away again. I didn't get much of a pre-ride in, my legs were sore from the day before but I knew that I had to find it in me to do well. After pedaling around for a little while my legs started to loosen up and I knew it was game time. I rode up the first little hill to see how far up the track went before turning back towards the village. Nerves started to creep over me as the line up began. I was called right in the middle of the pack, I picked my spot and still managed to be squeezed out towards the back of the pack. The first lap always seems to be a parade line lap so where I was didn't seem as important. We started, girls were getting hung up on the ball baring rocks all over the road (I always hate that climb because of those darn rocks!) We were in a pretty steady pace line until we got into the single track going back down; I got hung up behind a UCLA rider, lucky once she realized that I was behind her she was totally nice and let me pass here and she even cheered for me. We ripped into the switchbacks that lead into the village and then onto some pavement and entered out second lap. I was getting sick of being stuck behind all these girls so I turned it on. Climbing is my strength so I knew this was the only place that I would be able to get ahead of other girls. I went for it, I probably was able to get by a handful of girl and settle my body down for a comfortable recovery on the downhill. Right when you turned to go enter the single track there were 2 alumni UNR riders there cheering and a Luna rider...it wasn't until my next lap when I realized who that particular Luna rider was...KATARINA NASH! and she was actually cheering for me! HOLY MOLEY! She is like my hero in biking, this lady is amazing on a bike! wow! I started in on my 3rd lap and wasn't feeling to hot, I wanted to puke, the quick intervals really shook me up pretty good, I thought about pulling out, but I wanted to keep going. I wanted the result. 4th lap I was feeling good again...gosh after that I have no clue how many more laps I had in. I was really focused on making sure that I caught the girls ahead of me, and once I caught them I wanted to catch the next girls. Every lap I felt stronger and stronger. All the cheering was unbelievable, it pushed you. I loved hearing all those people yelling at me, it made the pain and suffering of short track pass much more easier. Eventually I was pulled (you are pulled if you are going to get lapped by the leader of the race. Well the leader of the race happens to be this abnormally good short track Olympic rider...yah, so of course she is going to pass me!) I was pretty angry that they pulled me. I wanted a good result more than anything; after I took sometime to steam down I knew that I had ridden well. My dad, chris and barb and a bunch of other people congradulated me. I really bummed that I had been pulled, but then putting it into prespective I wasn't that bummed. I ended up coming in 22nd out of about 50 girls again. So I had two strong mid pack finishes this weekend. I actually took the time yesterday afternoon to run through the results and put everyone in the correct category and age group to figure out where I would have finished if this was a normal NORBA race. I would have ended up 2nd for my age group and category for cross-country (I haven't looked at the short track results in detail yet), so I can't be upset about that at all! There were some monsters of girls here this weekend, the best in the nation. I am one of them. I qualified for this race, that leaves a smile on my face.
Today I slept in and went on a road ride with Chris. It was short and sweet because of the poor weather coming in. We hit up bridgetender for lunch and I have been getting things organized for the ski swap for the rest of the evening. Hopefully I will have some pictures up in the next couple days from the short track race. I have two or three more races left this season. I was on the edge about going to them, but then I figured that I really need the finishes so I should probably go, right? It's not like I am going to miss out on ski season...ha! Well, I have to pound out some homework due tomorrow morning, and then I am off to get some shut eye!


Collegiate Nationals Day # 1 - XC

The start line up, don't be fooled there was 50 girls, this was just my line up group
(I have on a Nevada jersey, unlike the normal scott kit. In collegiate racing you have to wear your schools kit, and 'cannot' really show off any sponsors, good ole' NCAA rule)
Coming in for my second lap. We had 3 laps today, 21 miles.
Headed back on up.
Climb, climb, climb
In to the finish! : )
So, today is over! phew, I am exhausted right now. We started bright and early...8 am. It was pretty brisk out still, and the cloud cover was very low, I wished that I would have had some clear lenses to ride in...hummmm. 50 of the nations best Division I collegiate racers (which is a combination of A's and B's- pro and expert, all ages) lined up at the base of Northstar-at-Tahoe. I honestly have NEVER seen so many girls at one race before all there racing in the same category. World cup racers were there, it was insane. The race was going to be very spread out. My goal was not to finish last essentially, I have been pretty down since my finish in San Luis Obispo. They lined us all up, I was one of the last girls to get lined up do to the amount of UNR racers (which was close to NOTHING, a whopping 3 of us!) while all the other colleges had an entire time there. We started with a parade lap around the village, I got stuck in the back of the pack...all I could think I was 'this is NOT where I belong!' I quickly was able to get ahead of a good amount of girls and find a solid place right in the middle of the group, I knew this would be a great spot for now. We climbed up some switch backs and then up, up, up. I was climbing great, I probably haven't felt this good since Downieville. I started to pass more girls and I was confident where I was sitting. We came in from the first of 3 laps and I over heard one of the girls from the team say 'holy shit, she is doing really well' hearing that boosted me for my next lap, I went all out my second lap passing spots back and forth with some girls from CU (Boulder), it was nice because they were wearing BRIGHT yellow so I knew where exactly they were throughout the race. We got to a little technical section and to my surprise I met the ground, ugh. Landing on my wrist pretty hard I knew I had just messed it up for the rest of the race, I pressed through the pain and kept on going for it. The down hill hurt, so I was more tentative than I should have been finishing my second lap allowing one of the girls from CU to get WAY ahead of me; close to out of site for a little while. My legs were burning going into my third lap. The lactic acid build up was starting to become close to unbearable. I knew that once I reached mid mountain that I would be in the clear, it started going down from there and then there was one small climb and then into the finish. By that point my legs were toast, a girl from cali poly had managed to reach me and later on a girl from davis caught me. The feeling of having to almost let go of your position is the most crushing thing ever, at that point I was well into the top 15, maybe even 10, but physically I could not push any further. My body was telling me 'no, stop' but I was pushing it to the full limit. I knew I was getting close to the finish and that as long as I road the downhill safely I would make it across the line. I made it thru the finish and a weight was lifted. The first thing I did was jump off my bike before I was crowded with people congratulating me and telling me how strong I road. I ended up 19th out of 50+ women...not bad at all considering the girls that came out to compete! I wish I would have been able to find that extra power and crushed it a little harder so I would have pulled a strong top 15, but it is what it is and I am all in all not that disapointed with my performance.
Chris was a huge help this morning. He took the pictures (on his phone!) because I forgot my camera, my dad was there cheering for me, the team was super supportive, it was great. Wilson managed NOT to show up, I am a little bitter about that right now. Oh well! I am sure he will have some fabulous excuse. Chris took me out to lunch and I chowed down, Sparky has been washed. Ohhh boy was she a pain in the butt today...no rear suspension! What the heck?!?! I was stuck on a 'hard tail' basically the entire race, luckily it helped me with my climbing, but I wish I would have had the travel on the downhill portion of the course. It felt amazing to have my first 'pro' plate today, I think I am ready. I know I will be starting at the bottom of the food chain, but I am a strong rider and training this winter will help hugely! Welp, I just treated myself to a blue moon, and I am going to hope in the shower and then take a little nap. Eventually, I will have a big dinner and then back to sleep to prep for 2mrw. I go off at 8 am again for short track. I have only raced this discipline once before so tomorrow could get interesting. I am really looking forward to it.

I'll let you know how tomorrows adventure goes once I am done!


Holy Cow, what is going on!?!

So I am working on a feminism paper right now (not as fun and interesting as it sounds) I am constantly checking my e-mail, facebook, the news, perez hilton and all that jazz this is the latest:

6-year-old Colorado boy floats away in balloon

CNN) -- A runaway balloon has touched down in Colorado after a 6-year-old boy untied it from his family home in Fort Collins.The boy was not inside the helium aircraft when it landed, CNN affiliate KMGH reported.

A sibling saw the boy get into the craft Thursday morning. Officials were concerned that the boy may have fallen out of it, an undersheriff said.

Margie Martinez of the Weld County Sheriff's Office said a sibling saw Falcon Heene climb into the basket before the balloon took off from his parents' Fort Collins, Colorado home.

Since the door on the balloon was unlocked, it's possible the boy had fallen out, Martinez said.

The balloon appeared to be a saucer-shaped, Mylar-coated helium balloon, similar to a party balloon. The craft was drifting eastward, authorities said. The helium balloon was tethered to the boy's family home, the Larimer County Sheriff's Department said. The boy got into the craft Thursday morning and undid the rope anchoring it.

The department said the dome-shaped balloon is 20 feet long and 5 feet high.

"The structure at the bottom of the balloon that the boy is in is made of extremely thin plywood and won't withstand any kind of a crash at all," said Erik Nilsson, Larimer County emergency manager, according to CNN affiliate KMGH.A dispatcher received a call Thursday morning, and emergency services personnel were contacted, Larimer County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman Kathy Davis said.

A balloon company has been contacted and several media outlets offered to help track the balloon with their helicopters, Davis said.

"We're trying to determine the best course of action," Davis said. "This is a first and we'll do what we need to do."

Authorities said police cars were tracking the balloon, which was believed to be drifting about 8,000 feet off the ground. The FAA was notifying planes in the area, said Mike Fergus, agency spokesman in the Mountain Region.

They are "preventing air conflicts" by letting aircraft know of the location of the balloon and keeping the airspace free.

Cpl. Eric Wynn of the Colorado State Patrol told CNN, "At this point I think they're trying to evaluate the safest way to get that balloon down.""I think our involvement at this point is we have officers on the ground."

According to Wynn, authorities are worried about where the balloon could safely land, avoiding buildings and power lines.


I have been watching live video

Let's hope the boy is found (and that I can get this darn paper finished!)