12.27.2008

Realizing.

Well, I was in NY (Fairport) over Christmas with my Grandmama (my mom's side of the family). I had so much fun. I love spending time with everyone because I have to be the one person in our close knit fam that lives all the way on the other side of the country. 
Sometimes when we are all together we may not seem that close, but as soon as I am way from everyone in the east I realize how lucky I am. I have one of the most amazing families that one could ask for. I do have to admit that I am beyond ready to get in a goodnights rest. I woke up this morning looking sleep deprived, with a hint of medusa seen only when closely looking at my smudged hair. 
I GOT A SEWING MACHINE for christmas. Could I ask for anything better? wow! Excited times a bazillion! I also got to raid my mommy's computer for some new tunes. I came across Ben Taylor, the famous James Taylor's son. Wow, what an amazing voice! His song "digest" has amazing lyrics and is currently my NEW favorite song EVER! (ohhh I also got rise against back on my computer..phewwwwww (and double phewww because now I can update my iPhone! ha))
I highly suggest that if you like indie, DMBish kind of music you get your tucas to the iTunes store and buy some of his music. 
Let me simply high light my trip: 
- Delicious food (cheese grits!!! Ohhh ya!), cookies, thai food!
- Going to the Lauder farm. (Actually this was pretty cool, today we stopped by again on our way out of town because Aunt Mary always makes Sarah a new hat every christmas. Well, Aunt Mary's daughters (Jill and Mary Ann) were cleaning out her dresser they came upon all this jewelry and were trying to figure out what to do with it, well I got my wicked little way with a bag! I am so excited! Necklaces, bracelets, rings, pins! Everything is so unique and pretty. When I saw all the pins they just screamed "Bud". I am so excited that I was able to do that and very thankful) 
-Wrestled with Banx
-Wrote a love letter
-Only showered twice
- Held my baby cousin, Addy 
- Saw everyone in my family 
- Visited Grandaddy 
- Adored all my rings on my fingers
- Looked at pictures with my Grandmama
- Dreamed of skiing
- Dreamed and wished 
- Wondered what simplicity really is
- Thought a lot 
- Discovered some of the neatest websites for interior design EVER
- Drank a lot of coffee
- Had jet-lag
- Drove my moms car
- Got the COOLEST LL BEAN bag! I am STOKED!
- Got REALLY excited for Vegas
- Apologized
- Worried
- Smiled 
- Cried
- Threw some snowballs
- Read the instructions to my sewing machine
- Hugged my mom a lot
- Talked to a lot of my friends
- Tried to prioritize 
- Bought a sweater-vest! Ohhh ya!

Today we came back to Lyme, NH. We stopped at the moose deli place in Hoosic! WOW, my wrap was better than ever! Hit the spot. I was trying to figure out if the man that owns that store really likes moose or what the deal is. Banx rode on my lap for awhile and then I drove, I thought I was going to fall asleep. Scary. I quickly passed out in-front of the fireplace after unloading the car and waiting for the burgers to come off the grill. I awoke to a magazine being thrown at me. Nice..ha! We also kind a surprise (well to me) guest tonight, Warren Witherell. He came and dropped off a book that he helped edit, "Heart of a Husky", it was written by one of the girls on the UConn team (Mel Thomas). I am looking forward to reading it since I am an athlete and can probably share a lot of similar situations with her. Now I am in bed, and so comfy. 

I fly back to Tahoe on Tuesday. Then the mad search for a job starts again and of course the enjoyment of winter break will be basked in as well before I get back to the grind of school on the 19th. I really want to squeeze in a trip somewhere: CO, UT? idk! I am due for some good friend time. It is weird realizing that this is going to be my first year NOT going to X-games, cutting back on my winter travels...a bummer. It hits home pretty hard. 

I am going to leave you with this Ben Taylor lyrics: 

When it gets me depressed I find That it's best with my chest high As I stretch my lungs & express my love, hold my breath & forget my pride, to reflect that the rest of our lives are a measure of time. We may as well try to express some style. I exhale my prayer. And follow it with my eyes as it fills the air. In the back of my mind I imagine that you can as if you could still be near me. 

But, 
Lately I've been breaking my mind, Trying my best but it's taking its time. Cause I've been forced to digest this wasteful emptiness. I'm supposed to laugh as if there's nothing going on. I know life goes on regardless, but nothing's been the same since you've been gone. 

Another run around the sun, look at the things we've seen. What have we both become? What have we dreamed? Who have we lost? And what have we won?

I never could've believed that you wouldn't have finished what we'd begun. I never cared to imagine you would've been taken away from us. 

Now times change & the game plays on, 
And the truth remains but the rules have all gone wrong. 
Life rises, now here we are Still looking for the place where we belong. Stronger than habit & fantasy, Deeper than gravity. What will be has to be. God planned it, I understand it. I hadn't imagined you'd leave me standing. No right to complain Cause it's already more than I'd ever had asked. But without you the best has yet to pass & now this song is about you. 

And I've been forced to digest this wasteful emptiness. I'm supposed to laugh as if there's nothing going on. I know life goes on regardless, But nothing's been the same. Since you've been gone. 


CHEERS! 


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